John 9:1-3 As Jesus passed by He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither him nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”
This scripture passage was read at Mass at a pivotal point of my life. It came at a time of personal and spiritual crisis. My physical abilities decreased significantly. That’s when I started using a wheelchair. I was angry at God because I believed that He was doing this to me. I used to cry myself to sleep wondering what was happening. I asked God, in anger, “What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Are You punishing me for something that I’ve done?” I didn’t see any point in living a life like this. I seriously thought about killing myself. “Why should I try? It’s not worth it,” I thought. I didn’t see any point of going to Mass and I went just to keep my parents happy and I heard the scripture reading of John 9:1-3.
After hearing that reading i suddenly realized that it ridiculous how I thought that God was punishing me. I knew that God didn’t put me in a wheelchair as a punishment. I realized that in a weird way that this is actually a gift of God. I thought that if God can work through a blind man, why couldn’t He work through me and my disability?
Next post I will concentrate on the last part of the scripture passage “… so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”
thewheelcatholic 